Okay, so I've decided to come out to my parents. Most of my school already knows and they are ... less than excepting. But my parents might be worst. I decided to tell them in person, and so I planned out what I was going to say. They are likely to dismiss it as a plea for attention, or a 'phase', so I wrote down all the things I needed to get across before they said anything. I wrote and learned this off by heart, so I can tell them everything that they need to hear. 

This is what I came up with:

Is something that I want to tell you and I need you to listen and let me finish before you say anything. I’m gay. A lesbian. I have known for a long time, since I was little.  It the last few months it has become more and more of a burden keeping it from you. 

It has also placed an invisible wall between us, wether you know it or not, because I can’t tell you what I’m feeling or going through, all the things that straight children take for granted.

I think that you may have suspected for a little while now, but on the other hand, it could come as a total shock. I’ve done research and know that you may be feeling upset, confused… or even angry. And I have had time to adjust and understand. And I know you may need time too.

But try to understand, my friends know, and they are cool with it. They are totally supportive and the reason I have chosen to share this with you is because I want that same support at home. At school I don’t have to hide behind all these smoke and mirrors. I don’t have to avoid questions about boys, boyfriends, or future husbands. This lying has been eating away at me for far too long.

Now, I know that 15 is a young at to come out to you, and you may dismiss it as just a phase. But IT IS NOT. This is something I feel very strongly about, and there is not doubt in my mind. I am happy with myself and even though you may not understand about my being gay, I hope that you will still love me. I am the same person I was before I told you, now you just know one more thing about me. This has been hard for me to tell you, and I know I have taken I bug risk in doing so. But it was a risk I was willing to take, because I want you to love me for who I am, not who you think I am, or who you want me to be. 

_________________________________________________

It is going to be hard to tell them, but I have to. I can't keep living like this.

Hey there. OKay, so my MSN isn't workin here, so LJ updates will have to do for now.

Okay, *evil hate stare to Jess* Yes, you Jess. You and your stupid Tegan and Sara.
*starts to sing*

Soon my face will be on every magazine
And then my voice
Will be on every frequency
Take my heart while you're at it why don't you
Sign me up to sell me out
I am my angel 'til death I do
I saw my first angel
And it was you
 

*head desk* I hate you Jess. And so does my family, as i have been singing non-stop the whole trip. And yes, you missed my singing.
Oh, Jess. I found a chick who looks exactly like Lara, from Lword. Mmmm................sorry, where was I? Oh, right.

~~~

We haven't been doing much. We stayed in the smalltown called Beechworth where my dad lived when he was younger, but thats it. 

We walked around the whole town. "If there is something in Beechworth we haven't seen, then it doesn't exist." Yeah, my dad said it. He wasn't happy about walking either. lol 


What have you guys been up to? I miss you all heaps, and i wish i was there instead of half way across the country. But shit happens, so meh. 


I get back on sunday night, so i can't see any of you the day i get back either. *sad face*
But i will see you all on monday, ...if i come, cause i may be sleeping...*hears you yell* okay, okay. I'll try.

Kisses to all

PS, Abby, there should be a Chrissy reply. Im not sure when im going to be at internet again, but I'll do my best. 

I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time i see your bubbly face
i get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under the covers stayin dry and warm
you give me feelins that i adore

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

What am i gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmmmmmmm

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
Im comfortable enough to feel your warmth

 It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go...

ARHH! BROTHERS CAN BE SUCK F**KTARDS SOMETIMES! THEY DON'T THINK. THEY DO ANYTHING FOR ATTENTION. EVEN BREAKING 'PROMISES'.

My brother read something PRIVATE first of all. He laughed and thought it was funny. I conviced him not tell, especially not our parents. They're not ready to know. They wouldn't like it, at all. 

But what does he do? He can't keep quiet for a month. He used it to get attention, there's no decency in that. Now my parents think I'm a joke and they don't think anything of me. That worm that I accenently stepped on this morning? Yeah, there's no doubt in my mind that that worm was higher on their list than me.

All because he couldn't stay quiet.

No. 91 – Guilt (Nikki/Nora)

Nora quietly climbed from the bed, making sure the blankets were still tight around Nikki. It was cold and Nora shivered in the darkness, slowly padding across the room, closing the door behind her.

She went and sat on the windowsill, pale moonlight filtering through the glass, pooling in her blue eyes. She sighed, scooping up her blonde curls and tying them back.

She heard Nikki whimper in her sleep, and Nora knew she was having another nightmare.

“Oh Nikki.” Nora murmured, staring at the cars driving by on the road below. “I’ve tried to understand, I have. But, sweetie you won’t talk to me. I don’t know feel close to you anymore. Sometimes, when I touch you, I see it in your eyes, if only for a second; disgust.” Tears rolled down Nora’s cheeks.

“Baby, if you just gave me some idea of what he did, what you went through…just talk to me. Please.” Nora begged, sobbing quietly, not wanting to wake Nikki.

“I know, I should have been there to protect you. And this is all my fault. It should have been me in there, not you. And I wish I could make this all better, but I can’t. And I’m sorry.”
 

A gentle touch,
A soft caress,
The coming together of two bodies,
two minds,
two souls.
Motivation, intent,
So innocent, so pure.
Feelings of tenderness, aliveness and warmth.

How could such desire be cause for shame?

Title: - House of Wolves
Author: - Fem_Slasher AKA Jeanne (me)
Fandom: -None, my own little world
Pairing: - Scottie/Paulie
Rating: - PG-13
Summary - Scottie is sent to boarding school, where things get worse than they were before...

Title: - Anywhere But Here
Author: - Fem_Slasher AKA Jeanne (me)
Characters: - Rosalie St Claire
Pairing: - Rosalie St Claire/Lucille Hudson
Rating: - PG-13
Summary - When lectures get boring, Rosalie finds her mid wanders...

Rosalie sat in the lecture hall, the professor was talking, but she wasn’t listening. She was thinking of Lucille, as she had been for the past week. Rosalie smiled, closing her eyes & slipping lower in the chair.

She imagined Luce, blue dress, hair loose, moving closer and setting in Rosalie’s lap. Rosalie’s breath quickened as Imaginary Luce began nibbling on her ear.

A loud bang caused Rosalie to shoot upright, opening her eyes. Lucille was gone & Rosalie was back in the lecture hall.

She gulped, moving slightly to try to combat the ache between her legs, but she only proceeded to make it worse.

Title: - Habit?  Never.
Author: - Fem_Slasher AKA Jeanne (me)
Fandom: -You could call it House/Holby City 
Pairing: - Fiona Cameron/Diane Lloyd
Rating: - PG-13
Summary - Diane arrives home, finding Fi wating for her...

Fi was sitting in the garden when she heard Diane arrive home. She heard footsteps and arms wrapped around her shoulder.

“Hey hunny.” Diane whispered in her ear.

Fi smiled. “Welcome home. Miss me?”

“Of course.” Replied Diane, coming to rest lightly in Fi’s lap.

“I demand proof.” Pouted Fi, playfully.

Diane smirked. “Only if you come inside.” She said, pulling Fi up and leading her inside.

Fi grinned, following Diane. She reached forward and pulled Diane’s hair from its ponytail.

“Habit.” Murmured Diane.

“More like…fetish.” Smirked Fi as the door closed behind them.

She walked into the kitchen to find Ziva chopping vegetables.

“Hey baby doll.” Smiled the Israeli, moving to hug her lover.

“Hey yourself.” Sighed Jeanne quietly. She wrapped her arms around Ziva, holding her close.

“Aww baby. Bad day?” Jeanne nodded slowly.

Ziva kissed her ear. “Hungry?”

Gah! I'm trying to get this friggin thing to work *is not computer savvy* I will do it! Even if I die in the process.